So this is an exercise I was given- to write a "How to..." and being the expert on something. Writing a manual on something. So here's my manual on how to get over a romance/friendship gone sour.

How to get over it

So he told you that he would lose all romantic interest in you if you didn’t wear more body-conscious clothing. You argued that you felt sexy in anything you wore. And frankly, the workplace frowns on wearing tight clothes unless you’re a streetwalker or trying to sell alcohol or trying to sell cars. Or a streetwalker trying to sell alcohol in her car. Not to mention you don’t want to feel the chair on your naked thighs because your skirt hikes up about 5 inches when you sit. And sometimes wearing heels is rough for 8 hours a day. He can go fucking date a waitress at Hooters- if she’s desperate enough to date a control-freak show.

So he said you weren’t worth the effort and therefore he wouldn’t get out of his comfort zone. He knew he would grow to resent the time and effort spent on making your life easier. You argued that your life is busy and that it doesn’t have to always be that way- compromise is something you’re willing to do. He was focusing on the wrong things, you argued. The two of you had the same sense of humor, intelligence and a driven duty towards helping vulnerable people like students and sick people. That was what was important to you. And you found him attractive because of who he was. Not what he could give you. He could have gotten into a car accident, lost an eye, gone bald, gained 50lbs and he wouldn’t have lost anything you fell in love with. But apparently that’s not worth his effort.

He complained that you were a foodie. You argued you weren’t really a foodie, but merely an adventurous eater who wasn’t picky about what she ate- just picky about the quality of food. You made spicy ramen for breakfast and he watched you like a panda in a zoo while you ate your ramen alone. He declined your offer to fix breakfast on account of the fact you don’t have cereal or milk in your house. You didn’t really mind that he ate white rice and chicken for dinner almost every night that he wasn’t eating plain cheese pizza. But he didn’t like that fact that you ate differently than he did.

He accused you of living in a fantasy world where women are not judged by their appearance. You argued of course it’s possible for women to be seen as people and not objects or status symbols. And you realized he was the one who lived in a fantasy world of women who live to serve him and who happen to like and genuinely enjoy everything he likes. Because he wants a happy pet.

The sex was great both times. Maybe you’re too easy going to be into BDSM. But you got to experience what you did and didn’t like and you’ll be more vocal about it with the next guy.

He wanted to stay in contact with you after the breakup. And you took the time to decide if you wanted to be friends. You decided that you could be friends with him only because you didn’t want to get back together. Ever. So the two of you started a friendship. Went to have coffee/tea and watched a movie. Then he met his girlfriend and he stopped initiating any contact. You called him out on it and asked him if he was still interested in being friends. He told you yes, he still wanted to be friends, but never initiated any conversations or emails. It was obvious to you that he was using you as an ego boost, but he denied it and was upset you could even think of such a thing. You are tired of the crazy-making shit and you decide you saw exactly what you saw.

The last straw was when you called him out on some horrible remark he made about your favorite dress making you look four times your actual size. He accused you of being passive aggressive, bitter and angry and requested that you no longer contact him because it was making his girlfriend uncomfortable. And you decided that you didn’t do anything wrong. And maybe you were still a little angry. Because he was a dick and it took you and instant to know and a long time to accept.  

And just like that, you will be over it.