Story between two characters.

So I wrote this one sided story about two characters- Evan and Jill and their relationship. It's a terrible thing, as Margaret Cho once said, when the relationship is over but only you know it. 

A Most Fortuitous Coma

             It seemed serendipitous that Jill was knocked unconscious by a foul ball right before Evan planned to break up with her. It was Evan’s birthday and Jill had gotten field seats along the third baseline for the Nationals vs. Red Sox baseball game. Over the past few months, Evan came to realize that there were too many good excuses to stay with Jill for the wrong reasons. His friends and family constantly remarked how Evan had lucked out. She was six years younger, kind and beautiful. Evan felt lucky for a while.

Unfortunately, Jill had very little in common with him. To his horror, Evan became bored. After 12 months of drifting off during conversations about reality TV, Evan didn’t give a shit about how hot and nice his girlfriend was; he wanted out. Then she had the luck to sit right where Shae Victorino’s foul ball had semi-fatal impact before he could set himself free. Their fights had gotten ugly lately. He wanted her home. She partied more than he liked. He hated the clubs she loved. She wanted to get her kicks while she was still young enough to get them. Jill had extended the baseball tickets as a peace offering.

            Evan sat in the sun dappled Intensive Care Unit, room 11 on the 7^th floor of Scarborough Regional Hospital drinking a latte from the cafeteria and engrossed in his graphic novel. He agreed to come in early on the weekends so Jill’s family wouldn’t think he was a heartless prick and he could be alone. Yesterday had been rough for Jill’s parents. They had gotten news that the bleeding hadn’t stopped in her brain and that Jill’s condition wasn’t improving. She had been unconscious for a week. Evan was here for her parents more than Jill herself. With each passing day, he felt more and more trapped by his sense of duty to uphold this charade for them. The guilt sat on him like a fat panda.

To make matters worse, the cute night nurse was finishing up her shift and came in to give his comatose (almost ex) girlfriend her sedatives.

            “So how have you been today?” The nurse, Agnes, smiled as she unwrapped the syringe as easily as one would click a pen. Her dark brown hair was twisted in an unruly nest on the back of her head and the neat blue scrubs seemed tailored for her curves.

            Evan looked up from his graphic novel and smiled. “Oh the usual. Mountain climbing in the Alps, yodeling lessons. How are you?”

            “Oh, you know, the usual,” Agnes laughed, “I’ve been exposed to just about every body fluid there is in the past 10 hours. You’re here early on a Saturday.”

            “Oh, I took the early shift so her mom can sleep in.” Evan shrugged.

            “That’s mighty nice of you.” Agnes cocked her head thoughtfully.

            “Thanks.” Evan felt slightly guilty for flirting, but then again, he wasn’t the one in a coma.

            Agnes finished giving the medications and walked out.

            Evan returned to his reading and sighed. He wasn’t in dating limbo. He was in dating purgatory.

            Jill’s monitor beeped. Evan looked up and saw some red exclamation points flashing on the monitor. A troop of white-coated people in scrubs dashed in dragging a cart. Jill’s heart had stopped. They were going to try and resuscitate her.

            Evan felt numb from the waist down in horror as they tried to save his vegetative (almost ex) girlfriend. On one hand, it would be awesome if she passed away right now. No muss. No fuss. On the other hand, if she lived, he would feel pressure not to break up with someone facing considerable rehab and physical/mental hurdles. Evan was amazed at the degree to which he could disgust himself with his own thoughts.

            “Clear! We’re all clear?” Dr. Rosenbaum put the paddles on Jill’s chest and the shock produced a small quiver. The line on the monitor remained flat. Evan let out an inaudible sigh of relief.

            “One unit of epi!” A nurse plunged the stimulant through the IV. The monitor blipped. Then nothing.

            Evan was gripping his graphic novel into a tight tube.

            Thirty minutes later, the beleaguered medical team admitted defeat, dispersed and a sheet was pulled over Jill’s head. Evan had surprised himself with genuine tears. He waited for everyone to leave and sat quietly by Jill’s side. (Almost ex) Girlfriend or not, Evan would miss her.

            Jill’s phone rang. “Brian from Halo” appeared to be the caller. She had gone to Halo to celebrate her friend’s 28^th birthday 2 weeks ago.

            Evan answered without speaking.

            “Hey, Jill. It’s Brian. Did you forget about our date?”

            “No,” Evan’s heart pounded. “This is her ex-boyfriend.”